Girl Band Movie

June 16, 2010 in general, things we like

I have to confess that when I’ve had a moment in this crazy month of June to fill my head with empty things, I’ve been trying to watch every band movie out there, especially the ones whose stories are focused on women. It’s not that surprising that there aren’t very many, and in most of them we are usually relegated to worshipping the men who make the music, and never make our own.

I’ve yet to watch a movie that feels true to my experience of being in a band. I’ve met guys who behaved like the ones in Spinal Tap but have never been in a group with them. Often in movies they pick up their instruments and the first time they play together they sound like they’ve been rehearsing for years. The movie usually resolves with fame and fortune, which is not how most musician’s stories end, but I can’t fault them for that – hollywood does like its happy endings.

There is a common thread that runs through the ones I watched recently (Satisfaction, Prey for Rock’n’Roll, and Ladies and Gentlemen, the Fabulous Stains) and that is that all the women come from horrible backgrounds. Is it some sort of prerequisite that you must have an awful family before you would consider something so unlady-like as being in a band? Well-adjusted women obviously don’t feel the need to pick up the guitar. I think they summed it up in Satisfaction, probably the fluffiest movie of the lot – girls in bands are either gangsters, drug addicts or sluts.

So let’s look at how movies depict women in bands (and this will contain some spoilers if you actually decide to go out and watch any of these) – as the lead singer, you are the only one that is valuable, the only one that has a chance of making it, but in the end, you will stick with your friends (this was pretty surprising to me in the case of Justine Bateman’s character in Satisfaction – not that she stuck with her band, but that she was actually singled out in the first place). At least one member is going to be a drug addict (but in the case of Satisfaction, the drug addict is really the only one that can sing, and that has any talent, and that actress is still making music today as half of Dean & Britta). At least half of you will have been abused by your father (ok, not the case in Satisfaction, which is probably too light a movie for such things). There will be at least one boyfriend that is a complete ass and who everyone else hates.

If you’re Justine Bateman your hit song will be a piece of crap written by the once famous, now fading Liam Neeson and you will wonder how he ever made it in the first place (The Fabulous Stains’ hit is also written by men. Is it ok because I’m a Paul Simonon fan?).

If you are Gina Gershon you will look like a slightly older version of the bassist in your (my) first girl-band, you will write your own songs but you will keep raving about how excellent your bassist is, which will make your audience wonder if your character actually knows anything about music. Are there no real musicians nearby that you can ask when writing a script? Seriously? Not one, single, real-life, struggling musician? If that were my bass player she’d be out on her ass in 5 minutes – honey, no one knows if you’re going to show up at gigs, your boyfriend is going to end up with rapist tattooed on his forehead, you’re a drug addict and you are going to vomit on my shoes after I’ve loaded your gear into the car, and most of all, you can barely play your instrument. Ok. I can accept less than great skill if you’re fun to hang out with, but not if you’re so drugged to the gills you can barely open your eyes. Also, at some point someone in your band will make a speech about how music is the only place where you feel safe, because what other reason would you have to take up such a masculine hobby as playing the drums?

Granted, there’s a lot of women being treated horribly by fathers, and a lot of drug use connected to rock ‘n’ roll, but I still think the world could handle a movie about the struggle to make music by a fairly well-adjusted person, and it could still be interesting. Then again, maybe a movie about a bunch of moms who upon finding parenting as much fun as doing the dishes suddenly realize that it may improve the quality of their lives if they continue to follow their passions, is just not very rock and roll. I guess it doesn’t fit in with the idea of the tortured artist that we so love to glorify, but one of my favourite things about my favourite Beatle is that he just comes across as this perfectly nice guy who raised his kids in a normal fashion and is still a bloody genius.

I have to say though, that I did enjoy The Fabulous Stains, and its still my favorite of the lot, and in spite of its flaws I liked how Prey for Rocknroll ended, with Gina Gershon’s character just happy with being a musician. I can’t believe I’m writing this post without having seen the Runaways. Any other movies out there I’m missing?

Written by: annie

silly ways to waste time